Drunk
by EmmettLuvr1935
Summary: Bella drinks to make her problems go away. Edward doesn't like drunk Bella. One night, Bella changes routine. But how? AH/OS... Sexual references
1. Chapter 1

**I don't remember how I thought of this one shot. It might have been a song or another story. I just liked the idea and ran with it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight (unfortunately) but I do own 43 posters that are hanging all over my walls.**

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I walked into the regular club. I went to my normal stool. I talked to the other regulars.

I did this every night, and I don't know why.

Edward, my boyfriend, hates when I do this. I do it anyway. He hates me drunk. I've had so much go wrong in my life though. Drinking is my way out. I get away from all the pain and sorrow. I don't have to deal with the past sneaking up on me.

Well, at least not until the next morning when I have a hangover and I remember the reasons for drinking in the first place.

"You want the usual, Bella?" Jake, the bartender, asked.

"Don't see why not." Always the same answer.

- - - - - - - - - -

About two, maybe three, hours later, I was drunker than normal. I had never been this drunk before. Tonight had been unusually bad. I just couldn't get the memories to go away tonight.

I had been sitting in the same spot this whole time. I needed to move. My legs were getting numb from sitting.

My legs dragged me out to the dance floor. There were many other drunks out there. None of them were anywhere as close to drunk as I was.

The dance songs were playing. Everyone was grinding on each other. The pounding beat of the music was pulsing through me. I was letting the music control my every move. I had been dancing by myself, as far as I knew, but now there was someone behind me grinding along with me.

"Can I dance with you, baby?" I had never heard this voice before. I turned to see a tanned, well-built, handsome man. It was probably the alcohol in me, but whatever it was brought out my answer.

"You can do more than dance."

"You lead, babe."

So, I started grinding on him. The longer we danced, the more heated our moves became. Before too long, we were making out and groping each other in the middle of the dance floor.

"There's beds in the back." I told this complete stranger.

He lead me one of the rooms in the back of the bar where the beds are. I had never had sex with a complete stranger. I had a boyfriend. I shouldn't have been doing this. But, I did it anyway.

I knew it was wrong. The whole time. His touch wasn't Edward. His kiss wasn't Edward. None of what he did was Edward, but I didn't care. I was too drunk to care.

I had sex with this man. And, I knew I shouldn't have. I should have gone home. I could have broken the routine. But, I didn't. I never did. I never will.

- - - - - - - - - -

Somehow I called a cab after the disaster of last night.

I woke up to the warmth of my bed. Still in my outfit from last night and more hung-over than ever, I walked into my bathroom to get water and aspirin.

My phone beeped. I had a text from Edward.

**I'll be over today. I h****ave to tell you something important.-E**

That's when it all hit me. The cup of water dropped to the floor.

Not only did I get drunk last night, I cheated on Edward. I always got drunk, but I had never cheated. That just wasn't me. I didn't do that. Drunk or not.

Shit! He was going to be here soon. How do I explain this? I can't not tell him.

The doorbell rang. This was it. I had to tell him.

"Bella." I broke. Just his voice. I couldn't even deal with his voice after what I did.

Of course, him being Edward, he comforted me. I tried to push him away. I was sobbing so hard that I couldn't say anything.

I finally just gave in. I might as well take the comfort while he's still offering it.

I cried for a while. At least it felt like a while. Although it couldn't have been more than 20 minutes.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked when I had stopped.

"I did something horrible last night. So horrible that you won't forgive me."

"What? I know you got drunk. You do every night." Ouch! It is the truth though.

"Edward… Last night…"

"Just tell me. Don't drag it out."

I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see his reaction. "I slept with someone last night." I whispered so quiet that I barely heard it. My eyes were closed for almost 10 minutes.

I looked up and saw tears. I had them in my eyes, but that isn't the tears I saw. They were falling down his face. They weren't stopping anytime soon either. It was the most heartbreaking sight ever.

"Why?"

"I don't know." I really didn't. I was sobbing through my explanation. "I was so drunk last night, Edward. Drunker than ever. The alcohol was just controlling me. I don't know why I slept with him."

"Did you know him?"

"No. I had never met him before."

"Did you like it?" Of course not!

"No! Edward, the whole time I was comparing him to you. His touch, kiss, movements. Everything was wrong. It wasn't you."

"I can't. I just can't." He was going to yell. I know it. He is pinching his nose. He's gonna yell. "GOD DAMN IT!" He shot up of the couch.

I couldn't speak. I wanted to apologize a million times over. I knew it wouldn't help anything. Nothing could help this.

"Fuck, Bella! What did I ever do?" I sobbed harder. "I never cheated. I never flirted. You got drunk, I didn't complain. You sleep through our anniversary because you had a hangover, I didn't say a word. NEVER!"

I finally spoke the dreaded two words. "I'm sorry."

"YOU'RE SORRY?! That doesn't help anything. At all. If anything, that makes it worse. You shouldn't have anything to be sorry for."

"It wasn't on purpose. I didn't mean to. I was too drunk."

"Maybe that's the problem. You need to stop drinking."

"I can't! It gets rid of my problems. I don't have to deal with them when I'm drunk! I can forget about everything."

"Well, until you quit drinking, I can't do this. I just can't." He stopped to cry. I had never seen him cry before. Now that I have, it's heartbreaking. And to know that I caused it makes it that much worse.

"Can't do what?"

"This." His waved his hands between the two of us through his tears. "This doesn't work when you drink. Apparently, you can't handle your problems and your relationships at the same time."

I finally understood. We were through. Edward and Bella were no more. We were done. Finished.

"If you think that's what's best."

"It feels like it." His voice was breaking at every word.

All I could do was nod. The tears weren't stopping anytime soon. I didn't know if they were ever going to stop.

"I'm gonna go home now, Bella. If you ever need help, just call. But, if you can, give me at least a few days." Again, just nodding.

He came over and hugged me. We both knew that I was wrong. He was just that kind of person. He was a guardian. I need comfort and he was going to give it to me whether I'd hurt him or not.

I cried into his shoulder for 10 minutes before he pulled back. He looked at me with tears in his eyes. He slipped something into my hand.

"This is what I came here to talk to you about. Call me if you need to know anything else." With that, he was out the door.

I called into work when I worked up a voice and stopped crying. I told them that I was sick and couldn't make it in. My rough voice probably convinced them.

For hours, I sat on the couch replaying the scene over in my head. I held myself together with my arms around my stomach while I sobbed uncontrollably.

When I ran out of tears, I look at the paper in my hand. It was a business card.

_Alcoholic Helpers  
Want to __stop drinking? Call us.  
555-123-4567  
Are you constantly drunk? Do you want to quit?  
Just call. We can help._

He really did care. It was so him. I flipped the card over just to see if there was anything there. Of course.

**Bella- I know you drink to get rid of your problems,  
but I can't deal with it anymore. Please get help.  
I love you so much. Drunk Bella isn't you. Get help.  
Just try. For me. I love you. So much. -Edwa****rd**

I dialed the numbers into my phone. All I had to do was press send. That's exactly what I did.

For the first time in my life, I was going to ask someone for help. I needed exactly that. Someone to rid me of my problems.

"Alcoholic Helpers. This is Alice. How can assist you?"

"Umm… I'm Isabella Swan and I need to check into for help. I need to quit drinking."

"Alright, honey. When would you like to come down?"

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**Depending on what people say about this, I might make it a two-shot. I don't have a second chapter written, but I know what it would be.**

**So, if you like it and want to see what happens, REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright you guys, here you go.**

**71 star... Breathless In Voice... addictedtoOTH... Claire-uh-Bella... This is for you guys! You really loved the one-shot, so I dedicate this to you guys.**

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_5 Months Later_

I was in Alcoholic Helpers for three months. I did the 12 Step Program. It helped me so much.

The woman that answered the phone when I called, Alice Whitlock, became a great friend of mine during my stay. She helped me when I would cry because of all the pain I had not only caused me, but Edward as well. Everyday she would visit my room after therapy. I would talk to her about everything.

While I was in the 12 Step Program, Alice found me a therapist to help me. I had told her why I used alcohol to cover up the pain. The therapist and Alice were the only two people I had ever told about my past. There was still one person that I needed to tell.

Edward was the best. Even though we had broken up, he called every other week. He told me about everything. We talked like old friends, which in truth we were. He knew that I was in therapy, but he still didn't know why.

That's where I was headed now.

I was on my way to Edward's apartment. He wasn't expecting me so I had no clue if he was even home. I was just testing my luck because I had finally worked up the nerve to tell him.

I hang the bell for his door. A few minutes past and I was losing my courage to tell him. I finally decided to turn back and go home when I heard him.

"Hello?" he said confused.

"Um… Hey." I nervously replied.

"Bella? Come on up. Doors open." So, now I was obligated to walk up the three flights of stairs to his apartment. With each step, my courage deteriorated.

I looked up from my feet when I reached his floor. He was standing in his doorway in his pajamas.

"Did I wake you up? I can come back later or something." I said as I started to turn back.

"No. Come on in." I didn't move. I had lost it all. I couldn't do this anymore. "Bella. Come on. I was up. You had to have come here because of something important." He walked over to me and lead me back to his apartment.

"I came here because I need to tell you something." Where did that come from? I didn't want to say that.

"Ok." He said hesitantly. "Let's sit on the couch. You can tell me."

When we sat down on the couch, I automatically reached for _my_ pillow. After all this time, he kept my pillow on his couch. I used this pillow every time I was here and too drunk to get to the room.

I had my legs folded under my butt. The pillow was clutched to my chest with my chin resting on the top.

"You obviously know that I went to therapy." He nodded. "Well, I wanted to tell you why I was in therapy."

"You don't have to. It's over with. I don't need to know."

"No! I want to tell you. You helped me and now you need to know why I needed the help." He didn't say anything so I continued. "My parents divorced when I was 13. My mom, Renee, had been cheating on my dad for years and apparently the guy she was dating had proposed. She loved him more and broke it off with my dad. The stupid courts in Washington decided that Renee deserved me. I have no clue why. When they asked me, I said I wanted to stay with my dad, Charlie. I liked my dad more. He was always there for me." I always regretted never talking to my dad again. My tears started to fall when I remember me finding out he had passed away when I was 16.

"Bella. You really don't need to tell me."

"But, I'm going to, so shush it." He closed his mouth and I saw the small smirk on his face from my childish words. "So, Renee moved herself and me to Florida. She said it was where Phil, my new step dad, was living. I never believed her. I still think to this day that she just wanted to get me as far away from my dad as possible. Renee and Phil had married six months after we moved."

"Well, about two years later, Phil got fired from wherever he was working at that time. Renee had gone with one of her friends to Mexico so I was staying with Phil."

……**Flashback……**

_I heard the front door slam. All of a sudden there was loud clanking coming from the kitchen. Phil never cooks so I went to investigate._

_I walked into the kitchen to see Phil throwing pots and pans around the kitchen. He was muttering to himself. I could tell he was angry._

_He must of heard me come in because the next thing I knew he was glaring at me._

"_You!" He yelled at me. "You are such a bitch!"_

"_What did I do?" I asked softly._

"_You got me fired." Wait. What?! How did I do that? "I wouldn't have had to get a new job where I had to get up early if your damn mother didn't take you. She could have just left you with your fuck of a father. But, NO! She had to take you so she could get your dad's damn money when he killed himself."_

"_Dad isn't going to kill himself." I said with more force than before. "Why would he need to? He is just fine. My dad wouldn't do that."_

"_Like hell he wouldn't. He still loves your mom. And what else does he have to lose anyway?"_

_I ignored his comment. "Renee doesn't just want me for my dad's money either. She loves me. I'm her daughter."_

_He just laughed. "You may be her daughter, but she doesn't love you. She loves the money that she can get from you when your dad offs."_

_I was crying angry tears now. She couldn't really think that, could she?_

_I didn't have much time to ponder that though before I felt a solid object slam right into my head. I looked down at the floor to see a pan laying there with blood dripping on it. I brought my hand to my head and felt the warm sticky fluid from some cut._

_I ran. I ran up to my room. Away from Phil. Away from everything that caused me pain just now._

_I started to get queasy so I knew the blood wasn't stopping soon. I did the smart thing and called 911. I told them my head was bleeding and I couldn't get to the hospital. She said she would sent someone out for me._

_I went to clean the kitchen so whoever came wouldn't suspect anything._

_When I got to the kitchen, it was a mess. The pots and pans were everywhere and there was a little bit of blood on the tile. I had no clue where Phil was now. He was probably asleep in his and Renee's bedroom._

_After about 15 minutes, I had cleaned everything up and was riding in the ambulance to the hospital. The EMT's said that I would most likely have to have stitches. How many? They weren't sure._

_After I got my stitches, I asked the normal nurse if she would give me a ride back. She had giving me a ride many times before, so she didn't have a problem it._

...... **End Flashback ......**

**"So, why didn't you tell someone what really happened?" Edward asked.**

"I didn't want to tell the police because I knew that nobody would believe me anyway."

"Did you ever tell your mom?"

"She came back about a week after that. She saw my stitches and asked what happened. I told her and she called me a lying brat. When I asked her if what Phil said about my dad's money was true, she denied it. I could see the truth in her eyes though. I told her that I wanted to go back with my dad. She started yelling at me saying that the court told me I was to live with her and I had to deal with it.

"About 8 months after this happened, Charlie passed. He was a police officer and was shot on duty. My mom told me about a week after it happened. The day after she told me, I left. The check for my money from my dad came in the mail and I bolted. I took a suitcase of clothes, a bag of books and small electronics, and my laptop.

"I took a cab to the airport and I flew to Washington and went to my dad's best friends house. I didn't tell them why I was there and they didn't ask. They just took me in.

"I stayed there until I graduated. I haven't heard from my mom since I left. Not one word. That really hurts too. I really wished that she would have at least called."

"Is that why you drink? Because you haven't talked to your mom?"

"It's not the only reason. But, its one."

"You don't have to tell me the rest."

"No. You aren't getting out of the rest. I started and I'm going to finish."

"Alright. Continue."

"Well, I moved to Seattle just after my 19th birthday. I loved it there. I had a okay job. I was a waitress, but I got paid well and didn't have to work a lot.

"On one of my off days I went to a bookstore. Well, I can spend hours in a bookstore. I was there all day and I only left because it was 10pm and they were closing. Walking around Seattle on the not-so-nice part of town at 10pm isn't a smart thing to do. I learned that the hard way.

"I was almost to my apartment when I was pulled down a dark alley. The guy had put a something over my eyes and he had his hand over my mouth. I bit him. Hard. He pulled his hand away. I tried to run but I didn't know where I was so I trip not to long after.

"Next thing I knew, I was shoved into a van and there were multiple sets of hands groping me and shredding my clothes. It was horrific. I can still remember the smell and feel of the van. It's not so vivid since therapy, but its still there."

I felt tears silently running down my face. I looked up at Edward and he saw my pain. He scooting closer and grabbed my hand. He started rubbing circles in on my hand. It was comforting.

"Bella, stop. I can see how much this is hurting. I understand. You don't need to keep going." He insisted.

"I need to, Edward." My voice was shaking. I couldn't help it.

"Stop. Come on. You don't need to. Come here." He let go of my hand and held out his arms.

"Just let me keep going." He put his arms down. "Ok. So, I was in the van and my clothes were gone fast. I knew what was going to happen next and it did. I can't even remember how many times they forced themselves into me." I was full on sobbing now. "They just kept going. They didn't stop. I don't know how many there were but…" I trailed off.

I looked over to Edward. Through the tears, I could see his arms held out again. This time I went to him. I launched myself at him.

I sat there and sobbed for a while. I think it was about an hour before I finally stopped. I felt better afterward though. It felt like the world that I was carrying had been taken back.

"Bella, I'm glad that I know." Edward whispered. I don't think either of us felt like speaking at a normal level. "I understand. Thank you."

"I figured that if you helped me, you needed to know what had happened."

"I didn't need to, but if that's how you felt, I'm glad I could help." I looked up at him and saw nothing but love in his eyes. Even after what I had done, he still loved me.

"You shouldn't."

"I shouldn't what? Shouldn't be glad I helped you? I am. I can't help it." He looked at me confused now.

"No." I continued to stare at him. "You shouldn't love me after what I did." He quickly looked down at his feet. "I betrayed you, Edward. I cheated. How can you still love me?"

"I don't care. You were in pain. You made a mistake. Everyone does it."

"I made the biggest mistake though."

"I really don't care, Bella. I don't care that you cheated. I don't care about your past. All I care is that you're better. You aren't going to go back to that." He looked back up and looked right at me while he said this.

"Edward." I couldn't help it. I kissed him. I don't know what brought it on but I did. I put all my feeling into it. My hurt, comfort, everything. The last thing I let him feel in that kiss was love.

"I still love you, Bella. I can't help it." Edward said breathlessly. Our foreheads were pressed together and we were looking right into each other's eyes.

"I have loved you since the beginning, Edward."

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**I hope you guys liked this one as much as the last.**

**I know the rape part of kind of cliché, but I did my best.**

**I'm sorry to disappoint, but this may be the last part in this story. If I get enough good feedback, I may put ONE more chapter. If I were to make another chapter, it would be a HAPPILY EVER AFTER, fru fru, lovey dovey, nothing gone bad thing though.**


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